: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
