for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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