Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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