Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
