he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
