BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
