There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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