Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize