Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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