Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
