Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
