how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
