theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I would fuck him just for his dog
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
