i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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