Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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