I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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