He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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