If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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