she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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