This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize