Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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