Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
