Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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