Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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