Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
