I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
