Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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