His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
