***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
