i think my mom watched the whole time
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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