I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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