just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
