he told me I talked like a deaf person
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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