She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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