at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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