Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
