I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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