the day after is always just damage control
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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