I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
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Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
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Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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