ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
