just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
