just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
