omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
