She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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