You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
