Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
