Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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