so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
