he wants to bone in the snuggie
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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