Do you still have your period?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize