Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Floor bacon is actually really good
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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