so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
