I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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