btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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