All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
