Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She's the barista slut.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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