dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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