so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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