he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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