hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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