Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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