honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize