so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
