if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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