he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
